KittiAnn's Xanga

Updates finally!

Sun, 31 May 2009 20:03:40 GMT

It's been awhile, fellow Xanganties :P. I guess I really have very little news to share, but I've been feeling a definite rebirth and renewal in the past week, and I suppose it's nice to share that feeling :).

Yuseph and I set a wedding date! That's pretty exciting :). Lookit me, all grown up. When I was a kid, I'd always dream about having babies; but having a husband/partner/significant other never really entered into the picture.. it makes me feel so old! But not in a bad way. I guess it's just what it feels like to grow up.

Aisha is adorable, as always. She's talking so much now, both in English and Urdu. Yuseph's mom was right, she's helping me learn more than I ever thought I would :). She can walk steadily and run rather unsteadily, and climb stairs if she has a hand to hold. She's started saying "I love you." It's pretty much the sweetest thing in the world, and makes me all melty inside :).

I've been drowning in one hell of an ocean since January, but now it seems like I've finally looked up to see the water-distorted sun. Hopefully by the end of summer / wedding time, I'll finally have pulled myself out. Graduation is coming up in October if everything goes well. Yuseph and I are starting to talk about when a good time for another baby might be. The apartment is finally starting to get cleaner! Maybe it's the oncoming summer; but I'm feeling better. Here's hoping the mood and the renewal of action persists :).

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:56:48 GMT

Baby and I had a good night tonight :). She was being cute and fun, and during bath time she soaked the entire bathroom with splashes! She's getting to the stage where she sort of cuddles (on purpose!) when she gets drowsy, so we've been spending more and more time rocking before bed :).

How is everyone? I'm so busy, I feel cut off from everyone. I've started working full time now, so doing that and taking 18 credit hours is getting to be a lot to do. A lot of times I feel like I'm not getting enough time with Aisha, that one day I'll come home and she'll cry because she doesn't recognize me :(. I know it won't happen, but it's the sort of thing I worry about now, I guess.

Yuseph and I are doing well. Nothing too eventful happening! We pitched in and bought a new computer together for his birthday, which was very fun. It's got a 24" flat panel monitor which is absolutely gorgeous.. we sit in bed and watch movies because the picture is better then the one on our TV :). I steal it to play WoW all the time, too.. I never realized it, but there's some amazingly detailed and beautiful graphics in that game!

So.. not much to report, but I felt like making a post so you'd all know that I was still alive! So here I am! Alive! :)

Happy Post!

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 02:54:20 GMT

You are the roots that sleep beneath my feet and hold the earth in place.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 02:39:26 GMT

Gah, wrestling with regret/despair/and information that's way too easy to access and buttons that are way too easy to click. There are things that are good now, but there were things that were good then.. it seems unfair that one cannot have everything one wants. My advice - stick with the first person you ever love, because if you don't you're going to feel torn in a billion directions the rest of your life. Okay, that's not true, but it's late and my kitchen is dirty.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:29:43 GMT

<---- World's cutest baby, now my profile pic, whoo!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 23:13:37 GMT

Too little too late..

I never did mean to hurt you. But you know what they say about good intentions.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:07:30 GMT

So.. I just got done talking to creepy, probably pedophiliac man.

I was walking home from work, when someone driving on the opposite side of the road honks at me. I don't recognize the car, but I wave anyway, figuring that it's probably someone I know and they'll be hurt later if I don't wave. The same car then makes a u-turn and drives around to my side of the road. They honk again, and I wave again, though I'm still unable to make out who it is. I turn the corner, passing the Advanced Auto Parts right next to my apartment. As I pass the turn-in to AAP, the car pulls up next to me.

Inside is this slightly-creepy guy, possibly my dad's age, but probably older. He asks if I need a ride, and I point out my apartments just ahead and tell him that I'm okay. Still not terribly creepy.. maybe just a guy being nice that I'm judging prematurely. But then he begins to ask all about me.. he wants to know what my name is (Leslie), he asks if I'm walking home from work, and, seeing the logo on my shirt, says "ah, that daycare just up the street." I'm thinking.. "great, now creepy guy knows where I live and where I work. Maybe I should have said I was visiting a friend.." He then asks how long I've lived there, to which I reply "about six months, since I had my baby." He looks a little taken aback (the reaction I was hoping for) and then asks what his name is.. and carefully watches me, I assume to see if I have to search for a name for my fake child. But, I've always wanted a boy named Gabe, and since he never asked what sex my baby was, just asked what his name was.. well, I now have a baby boy named Gabe ;). He then asks if I'm still with Gabe's dad. I tell him that yes, we are still together, and he's the most wonderful man in the world. Creepy guy says, "well, he is one of the luckiest." Then he asks me where my boyfriend worked (Gamestop), and says "that's not very close by, is it?" Wow. I'm getting major creepy vibes now. I tell creepy guy that he's home waiting for me with Gabe. I turn to go. He shouts after me: "how old are you?" I yell back that I'm 21. He drives closer and says, and I quote: "Ah, I was hoping you were just a little bit older". Yeah right, creepy pedophile. I'm walking down the street with no make up on and a sucker from the gas station. How old did you really think I was?

Anyway, that's my story for the day. Old guys are creepy!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:03:22 GMT

Yikes! School is starting soon, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. The family just got back from a big trip to Ben's lakehouse in Missouri, which was amazing. Aisha absolutely loved it.. she's going to be such a swimmer! She just loved kicking her legs and trying to swim around in that lake. She loved the boat ride too, until it got rainy and cold and the boys thought it'd be a good idea to speed up of a sudden ;).

Speaking of Aisha.. she's six months old now. Six months! She's losing a lot of her 'baby' qualities.. she's started playing dropsey games, and eating solid food, and she even has a neck now! It's hard to believe that six months from now she'll be learning to walk and talk, and be a little girl instead of a baby. Already, she's starting to say 'dada', which makes me very jealous; but more often then not she says it to me instead of Yuseph :). And I'll get a 'mama' out of her as soon as she learns to make an 'mmm' sound :).

Yuseph and I are doing well; though, as I mentioned, we're both going to be starting school this week. We already have a pretty limited amount of time with each other since we work opposite shifts so someone's always home with Aisha, and this school thing will make finding time together even harder. But we shall persevere! And someday have a house and a dog and a yard and all that suburban jazz.. bet you never thought you'd hear me say that, huh? No, if I have my way, our little family will be anything but ordinary. But we will be happy :)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:02:52 GMT

I'm back! Just a quick update, since I haven't done that in so long..

Aisha is 4 months (getting close to 5 months.. eee!) and learning all kinds of new things. She reaches up for my face, turns when she hears my voice, and is all around being the sweetest baby in the entire world. Tonight she rolled over and over until she made her way across the room :).

I went to a wedding of a friend from high school last weekend. Man.. it's crazy to think that we're all getting old.. getting married, having babies, etc. It seems like just yesterday we were freshmen and planning an evening at the skating rink. I've been very forcefully nostalgic about a lot of high school things lately. Maybe having a baby and paying bills and being all grown up is making me long for those days, pre-responsibility. Ah, well. Hindsight is 20/20, right? :)

I'm currently working at a daycare down the street.. sometimes with the babies, but mostly with the year-old children. They're really adorable (most of the time), and it's fun to get visions of what Aisha will look like in a year or so. Of course, when they're all being bratty at once, it makes me dread the future a bit. Now when she's upset all she does is cry, which I'm okay with.. but when she starts yelling and throwing tantrums and running from me, it's going to be a lot harder to deal with :(. Kids are srs bsns.

I'm looking into a program at Bryan LGH Medical Center.. they offer an associate's degree in general sonography, which includes fetal ultrasounds. Wouldn't that be a neat job? It'd take less time and be less complicated than finishing my music ed degree. It's hard knowing what to do.. on the one hand, I want to get a good job and work and provide for Aisha as soon as possible; but like almost everyone in their early twenties, I don't have much idea of what I'd like to do for the rest of my life. Difficult decisions are made more difficult when you've got two people to care for.

So that's my life right now.. not a lot, really. We'll see how everything works out in a few years.. there's so much ahead of Aisha and I that neither of us can predict. What I do know is - she's the cutest, sweetest baby girl in the world, and she's got her whole life to live. Insofar as it's in my power to control it, she's going to have the best one possible.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 04:38:34 GMT

So.. I'm back at home right now, glorying in my few hours of internet-enabled existence. Baby's being fawned over by her grandmother and step-grandpa; having a break from taking care of her is really quite nice.

Everything's going fairly well. Unfortunately, Yuseph's van recently perished in a car fire, so we don't really have any way of getting around. Luckily for us, everything we need is in walking distance; and Baby loves walking around with me :). But if anyone's looking to sell a nice used car - we're in the market to buy one.

I miss Ryan and Ben! It's really nice when people come to visit and I can get out of the house and spend some time with people other than Yuseph and Baby. Ryan, Jason, Yuseph and I went out for St. Paddy's Day.. it was the most fun I've had in a really long time. I wish everyone lived in Lincoln, and we could hang out all the time!

I applied for a job at Amigo's. Certainly not glamorous work; but we need money and it's the only place within walking distance that's hiring. Admittedly I've never worked fast food before, but I think I'll be okay.

Aisha's doing wonderfully. She's so big! I'm already forgetting how small and fragile she was when she first came home. She's started smiling - not gas smiles or sleep smiles, but real smiles. It's so cute. I don't want to be one of those parents that says moments like that make it all worth it - because I really think all of the moments with her make it 'worth it', even if they're as unpleasant as wiping up after a giant poo or staying up all night with a baby that just won't be calmed down - but those smiles sure are cute. God, she's beautiful